Love this advice - How to ask for a Job!

Advice from John Lucht from his book: "Rites of Passage."

When calling your network to find out about job opportunities, don’t ask for a job. Instead, ask for a reference.

If you call up your college friend, or your old boss, or a former co-worker, and say, “Hey Sally, you know I’ve decided to put out feelers and I’m think about looking for a job, and I was wondering, do you know of anything available in my field?”, it feels awkward and tense for both of you. People don’t like having to say “no” to their friends, and, unfortunately, that’s just the position you’re putting Sally in because chances are she hasn’t heard of anything in your field.
But if, instead, you call her up and say, “Hey, Sally, you know I’ve decided to put out feelers and I’m thinking about looking for a job, and I was wondering, if and when it gets to that point, would you consider being a reference for me?” is a much, much easier conversation, and of course she’ll say yes. Who wouldn’t be a reference for a good friend?

And what’s more, now that you’ve signaled to Sally that you’re looking for a job, and she’s agreed to help you in your search by being a reference, she is on your side. And we all have this natural tendency to want to see something succeed if we’ve agreed to be a part of it, no matter how small our part is (you know how true this is if you’ve ever found yourself rooting for your cousin’s co-worker’s husband’s band). And now that she wants you to succeed, she’ll be thinking about ways she can help you – other people who might be looking to hire somebody like you, jobs that might make sense for you at her company, etc. This is how you really activate your network in the job hunt.

So, remember, don’t ask for a job, ask for a reference.